Once again, I went through a quiet spell here on our blog. Part of that is because our days are busy, and I haven't made writing time a priority. I found some time today while the girls were all outside running off their sugar highs from the mountain of candy that covered our living room floor last night! The other part of my silence here is that I have felt in many ways that the story (stories, really) of our adoption process these past few months are not ours to share. They have involved several other families who have faced challenges and life altering decisions, and I just didn't feel comfortable sharing each situation, especially when my perspective has been one-sided. We are still excitedly expecting a new little one in our family (one day!), but our journey has been about so much more than that. It is because our eyes have once again been opened to so many new things that I decided we should continue sharing on our blog.
November is National Adoption Awareness Month. As I saw so many posts this morning from blogs or advocates kicking off the month of awareness, I wondered exactly where we fit in all of this. We do believe we are called to adopt, and we have seen firsthand the need for families to step up and answer that call. Who are we to tell others about adoption, though, when we have not actually adopted yet? While I wrestled with this a bit, I decided that I do have a voice in advocating for adoption. No, I can't tell you yet the joy of holding a son or daughter who was brought to our family through adoption. I can't tell you about the excitement of "Gotcha Day" or the process of finalization. That's simply not where we are. That doesn't mean, though, that there are not aspects of adoption that I can share. In fact, I can share about more than I ever would have imagined I could when we first began this process. The ups and downs of these past few months have taught us so many things. While we have not actually adopted anyone at this point, I can honestly say that adoption has brought us many blessings already. There are several birth families out there who I can thank for that!
Without getting into the details of others' stories, here's a quick update of where we are. I mentioned in our last blog post that we began loving a little boy who was due in June as if he were our own, realizing that God would walk us through any other situation that might happen. Well, God held true to what we asked of Him! The moment we found out that he was not being placed for adoption, our hearts were filled with peace, and we simply knew that God worked out His plan exactly as it should have happened. We were then matched with another family and have had three other calls about little ones as well. At this point, our prayer list of families and babies we are praying for has grown! All of these experiences have also opened our eyes to what so many people around us may be going through when we don't even realize it. There are people every day who receive a prenatal diagnosis of a disability. Many of them make the unfortunate decision to have an abortion. There are those, though, who choose life without knowing what the future may hold. For many of those parents, having adoption as an option gives them a sense of comfort and strength, even if they choose to parent their little one themselves. I truly believe that God has put us exactly where we were supposed to have been in each of the situations we've been through these past few months. While we were able to provide that comfort and strength to other families, I can honestly say that we were blessed as well. I know that is a bit of a cliche, but we have grown in so many ways by walking alongside these families.
God has used each of those situations to continue to show us that we are on the right track. While we have not adopted yet, we have answered His call to do so just the same. We are waiting. While that is often the most difficult part for adoptive families, I am thankful for what we have experienced during our waiting time. That's not to say that my heart doesn't skip a beat when I see that our contact with the National Down Syndrome Adoption Network has called my cell phone or that I don't check email immediately when I hear it ding after knowing that our profile has been sent for a family. I am human, I am a mother, and I do have a desire to adopt a little one. Those little anxieties are simply there and to be expected. At the same time, I know better than to think that all of this is about me or my hope to adopt. While I get that phone call, a family is navigating their way through a prenatal diagnosis. While I wait for that ding, a family is sorting through profiles and wondering how these adoptive families feel capable of parenting a child with special needs while they feel inadequate. This adoption process is big and complicated. It is full of grief and loss and anxiety. At the same time, though, it is necessary. It is full of joy and a greater understanding of family. It is also Biblical. It is an earthly representation of what our Heavenly Father has done time and time again. It is beautiful. It is all of that to me, and I haven't even adopted yet!
fam pic
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Monday, May 28, 2012
All of Me
We first received a phone call about our little boy on February 6. In the "adoption world," the beginning of February to the middle of June is a really long time. It is not typical to have a potential match to a birth family that far in advance. We knew going into this particular situation that we were taking a bit of a chance and putting our emotions at risk. There is never a way to say with 100% certainty that a birth family will follow through with an adoption plan, and we understand and respect that choice. To be honest, we had assumed that our placement would include a phone call to let us know that a baby had been born and that we were chosen. We weren't expecting a wait after being matched, and we certainly weren't expecting one this long and one that has included so much communication with the birth family. God wanted to exceed our expectations, and He certainly did!
While we were trying to be careful to guard our hearts after that first phone call, we also made the choice to start loving this little boy and praying for him like he is ours. Regardless of the outcome, we knew that God put him in our lives for a reason, and he needed our love and prayers. As has happened many times throughout our adoption journey, a certain song came to mind when all of this came about, and I have listened to it from the perspective of a prospective adoptive parent. Matt Hammitt wrote a song about their little boy who was born with a heart problem. He made the choice to love that baby will all of his heart, knowing that it might get broken in the end. We have made that same choice. We are recklessly loving this little guy, and we know that God will walk us through any outcome that may happen that we are not expecting.
Here's the song from Matt Hammitt.
While we were trying to be careful to guard our hearts after that first phone call, we also made the choice to start loving this little boy and praying for him like he is ours. Regardless of the outcome, we knew that God put him in our lives for a reason, and he needed our love and prayers. As has happened many times throughout our adoption journey, a certain song came to mind when all of this came about, and I have listened to it from the perspective of a prospective adoptive parent. Matt Hammitt wrote a song about their little boy who was born with a heart problem. He made the choice to love that baby will all of his heart, knowing that it might get broken in the end. We have made that same choice. We are recklessly loving this little guy, and we know that God will walk us through any outcome that may happen that we are not expecting.
Here's the song from Matt Hammitt.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Our next step
Well, to say we've been quiet on the blog is an understatement. Lots of reasons for that, but the biggest is that we have had to try hard to be quiet. We have intentionally been still and quiet as we have worked to discern some things, and we are now at a place where we wanted to share what is going on so that we can ask friends and family to pray for us and our little one. While we know we've had a great group of support all along, we have a particular little one in mind that we are now asking you to pray for!
To back up several months, we both felt contentment with the waiting part of our journey. We began feeling a lot of unrest, however, about waiting in the right place. We were being called to open our options in our adoption to include a child with special needs. Because of the busy Christmas season, we did not act on our decision until the first of the year when we had more time to reflect on where we felt God was leading us. Long story short, we officially changed our paperwork with Covenant Care Services to reflect who we are hoping to adopt, and we joined the National Down Syndrome Adoption Network as well. This is a non-profit agency (which has been amazing to work with!) who help both birth families and adoptive families. God quickly showed us that we were finally waiting in the right place ... we received a phone call the week after our registration was complete.
We will share more of what God has taught us through all of this later, but this has been a journey that we could never have imagined! We have been in communication with this child's birth family through email, phone calls, and a face-to-face visit last month. Walking alongside them has been an incredible process, and we are grateful that God has called us to a relationship with them through this placement. Since their story is not ours to share, we will simply ask for prayers for them during the coming weeks. They acknowledge much grief and loss ahead of them, and we pray for them daily as we continue to take things step by step.
While we have been careful to guard our hearts, we decided early on that we would pray for and love this little one as if he is already ours, knowing that God would walk us through any situation that we may face if that doesn't turn out to be. At the same time, we are embracing all of the excitement that comes with expecting a baby, and we are allowing joy to fill our hearts as we prepare for his arrival!
Yes, I did say "his" ... he is a boy! He is due in the middle of June, and we will travel to Ohio when he is born. He has Down Syndrome. At this time, his prenatal testing and ultrasounds are showing a healthy heart and other organs, and it looks like he is growing at a great pace. Please continue praying for him! We are praying for continued growth and health.
That is the short version of a somewhat long story, but we have been spending the past few months praying through all of this. We would love to have you pray for this little guy, his birth family, and our family as we take the next steps. God has abundantly blessed us already through this process, and we prayerfully look forward to the future with our little baby boy!
To back up several months, we both felt contentment with the waiting part of our journey. We began feeling a lot of unrest, however, about waiting in the right place. We were being called to open our options in our adoption to include a child with special needs. Because of the busy Christmas season, we did not act on our decision until the first of the year when we had more time to reflect on where we felt God was leading us. Long story short, we officially changed our paperwork with Covenant Care Services to reflect who we are hoping to adopt, and we joined the National Down Syndrome Adoption Network as well. This is a non-profit agency (which has been amazing to work with!) who help both birth families and adoptive families. God quickly showed us that we were finally waiting in the right place ... we received a phone call the week after our registration was complete.
We will share more of what God has taught us through all of this later, but this has been a journey that we could never have imagined! We have been in communication with this child's birth family through email, phone calls, and a face-to-face visit last month. Walking alongside them has been an incredible process, and we are grateful that God has called us to a relationship with them through this placement. Since their story is not ours to share, we will simply ask for prayers for them during the coming weeks. They acknowledge much grief and loss ahead of them, and we pray for them daily as we continue to take things step by step.
While we have been careful to guard our hearts, we decided early on that we would pray for and love this little one as if he is already ours, knowing that God would walk us through any situation that we may face if that doesn't turn out to be. At the same time, we are embracing all of the excitement that comes with expecting a baby, and we are allowing joy to fill our hearts as we prepare for his arrival!
Yes, I did say "his" ... he is a boy! He is due in the middle of June, and we will travel to Ohio when he is born. He has Down Syndrome. At this time, his prenatal testing and ultrasounds are showing a healthy heart and other organs, and it looks like he is growing at a great pace. Please continue praying for him! We are praying for continued growth and health.
That is the short version of a somewhat long story, but we have been spending the past few months praying through all of this. We would love to have you pray for this little guy, his birth family, and our family as we take the next steps. God has abundantly blessed us already through this process, and we prayerfully look forward to the future with our little baby boy!
Monday, September 5, 2011
Waiting well
Waiting is really an odd place to be. We are filled with excitement and anticipation of what is to come, yet we guard ourselves because of not knowing how long this waiting part of the journey may take or where it may lead us. We are ready if we were to get the call tomorrow, yet we are also content in waiting as long as it takes. It helps to find peace and contentment in this process knowing that we are not the ones in control of this journey. We trust and we wait. By trusting, we wait well.
Part of waiting well, however, still includes lots of thoughts about the woman who will be our child's birthmother and of that little child himself. We find ourselves wondering and questioning ... who, where, when, why. Tonight, I have soaked up this particular version of Psalm 139:13-16 and have found much comfort in it.
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
Part of waiting well, however, still includes lots of thoughts about the woman who will be our child's birthmother and of that little child himself. We find ourselves wondering and questioning ... who, where, when, why. Tonight, I have soaked up this particular version of Psalm 139:13-16 and have found much comfort in it.
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Ready, Set ... Wait!
When it comes to blogging, it really helps to sit still. We have not done much of that at all these past few months. It's officially summer now, though, and we are moving at a bit slower pace. Our busyness since March made it seem like the last few things we had to get together for our home study took forever. It was crazy that after all those months of papers and documents it was the last little bit that held us up. It's all done now, though!
We had our home study visit with our caseworker from Covenant Care in May, and she was able to take those last few things we finished and officially complete our home study! One of those items we completed was our family profile, which is the packet of pictures and things we want to share about our family that will be reviewed by pregnant moms who have made the decision to place their child for adoption. Our profile is now officially being shown. That means we are now officially waiting!
That also means that there will be a day where a mom will review our profile and information and choose us to parent her child. That day could be weeks or months or longer away. It's both exciting and nerve-wracking to say we have absolutely no idea when that might be.
We will continue to update the blog and share thoughts as we continue this journey, but, for now, we rest in knowing that we've completed all of the steps required on our part. We ask that you join us in praying for the woman who is our child's birthmom. Her story is unfolding now, and we pray for peace and wisdom for her as she walks through the days and weeks and months ahead.
We are praying for her daily, and we are continuing to focus on the little lives that God has already entrusted to us. We find ourselves in an odd place, really. We are content and full of joy with where we are and all that we have, yet we are also filled with an exciting level of anticipation of things to come and new precious lives to love.
We had our home study visit with our caseworker from Covenant Care in May, and she was able to take those last few things we finished and officially complete our home study! One of those items we completed was our family profile, which is the packet of pictures and things we want to share about our family that will be reviewed by pregnant moms who have made the decision to place their child for adoption. Our profile is now officially being shown. That means we are now officially waiting!
That also means that there will be a day where a mom will review our profile and information and choose us to parent her child. That day could be weeks or months or longer away. It's both exciting and nerve-wracking to say we have absolutely no idea when that might be.
We will continue to update the blog and share thoughts as we continue this journey, but, for now, we rest in knowing that we've completed all of the steps required on our part. We ask that you join us in praying for the woman who is our child's birthmom. Her story is unfolding now, and we pray for peace and wisdom for her as she walks through the days and weeks and months ahead.
We are praying for her daily, and we are continuing to focus on the little lives that God has already entrusted to us. We find ourselves in an odd place, really. We are content and full of joy with where we are and all that we have, yet we are also filled with an exciting level of anticipation of things to come and new precious lives to love.
Monday, April 18, 2011
I've Always Loved You
To kick off our celebration of our 15th wedding anniversary, Brian and I had a date night last night to see Third Day in Macon. Not only have I been a big fan for years now, but Mac Powell shared their adoption story at Catalyst 2009. It was early 2010 when I watched it on YouTube as God was gently nudging us on this journey. So, in a small way, their story is a part of our story.
One of my favorite Third Day songs is I've Always Loved You. As a matter of fact, it's the ringtone I have set for Brian when he calls me. It's a song about God's love for us, but I also like to think about it being the love Brian has for me because our relationship and marriage were ordained long before we even existed here on earth.
Well, it now has a new meaning to me as well. As has been the case more and more frequently lately, I can't help but think about the woman who will be our child's birthmother. As Third Day sang this song last night, I was overwhelmed by thoughts of her and of our connection to her now even though we have no idea who she even is. This is not a kind of love where we simply feel thankful for her. It's loving her no matter who she is or where she comes from or what she has gone through. It's loving her now and in the years to come. It's loving her in a way that is real, although I can't say now what that might actually look like.
I will blog again soon about more of our thoughts about birthmothers because our eyes have certainly been opened in a whole new way because of them. For now, here's the song that I have referenced. A reminder that no matter what, we have a Heavenly Father who knew us before we were born and who has loved us all along ...
One of my favorite Third Day songs is I've Always Loved You. As a matter of fact, it's the ringtone I have set for Brian when he calls me. It's a song about God's love for us, but I also like to think about it being the love Brian has for me because our relationship and marriage were ordained long before we even existed here on earth.
Well, it now has a new meaning to me as well. As has been the case more and more frequently lately, I can't help but think about the woman who will be our child's birthmother. As Third Day sang this song last night, I was overwhelmed by thoughts of her and of our connection to her now even though we have no idea who she even is. This is not a kind of love where we simply feel thankful for her. It's loving her no matter who she is or where she comes from or what she has gone through. It's loving her now and in the years to come. It's loving her in a way that is real, although I can't say now what that might actually look like.
I will blog again soon about more of our thoughts about birthmothers because our eyes have certainly been opened in a whole new way because of them. For now, here's the song that I have referenced. A reminder that no matter what, we have a Heavenly Father who knew us before we were born and who has loved us all along ...
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Praying over papers
Wow ... March was some kind of busy for our family! I started several times to update the blog this past month but never got a post actually published. March was full of traveling and family and making lots of special memories. For now, then, I figured I'd simply start a new post and update where we are on our journey.
We just finished our last training for our domestic adoption this past Friday. We will meet with our caseworker this week (on Thursday) to review everything we've gotten together up until now. We have our completed home study that we shared with her, along with all of the documents we've collected over these past few months. We'll have a clearer picture after our meeting and will better be able to share what our next steps will be at that time.
At this point, the last thing we have to complete on our end is our adoptive family profile. This is basically our story and an introduction to our family in a scrapbook format that will be made available to expectant mothers who have chosen an adoption plan for their baby. She will review the profiles of families whose preferences meet her own, and she will use these to help make her choice of an adoptive family. This pretty much means these papers we are currently working on are the most important ones we will have turned in during our journey.
Yes, financial statements and testimonies and family history and FBI background checks and personal references are all important, but this profile will be what God uses to direct a mother to the family He has already picked out for her little one. There will be something in the pages of our profile that He uses to speak to her to let her know that we are the family who will adopt her baby. Talk about making a good first impression ... the words and pictures we choose for our profile will give her an idea of who we are. This is our chance to let her know enough about us to make a very big decision. These pages are awfully important.
We have no way of knowing right now what kind of relationship we will have with our child's birthmother. It could vary from being pretty open with her and sharing pictures frequently to having no interaction with her at all. It is possible, then, that these pages will hold all the information she will ever know about us. This may not only be a first impression but an only impression. We have carried that thought as we have worked on each page and chosen each picture. More than that, we pray that these pages will convey a message to her of love. Our love for our Heavenly Father. Our love for each other and for our children. Our love for our children we haven't met yet. Our love for her and for her forever part in our family's story. The love that our Heavenly Father has for her.
The thought that these pages need to carry all of that is overwhelming. Is little ol' worrisome me going to worry and fret over each page knowing the importance of what it is we are doing? Nope! Seriously. No worrying here. We are simply going to be honest and real in what we include in our profile. From there, we are going to cover these pages in prayer as we turn them in to our caseworker. We pray for God to use them to speak clearly to the mothers who will read them and to give them a peace and comfort as they make such a big decision using these pages as a guide.
We have prayed for a lot of different things over our adoption journey, and we have lots more requests to come, I'm sure. For now and for the next few days as we complete this profile, however, we will pray for each picture and each word. We will be praying over papers ...
We just finished our last training for our domestic adoption this past Friday. We will meet with our caseworker this week (on Thursday) to review everything we've gotten together up until now. We have our completed home study that we shared with her, along with all of the documents we've collected over these past few months. We'll have a clearer picture after our meeting and will better be able to share what our next steps will be at that time.
At this point, the last thing we have to complete on our end is our adoptive family profile. This is basically our story and an introduction to our family in a scrapbook format that will be made available to expectant mothers who have chosen an adoption plan for their baby. She will review the profiles of families whose preferences meet her own, and she will use these to help make her choice of an adoptive family. This pretty much means these papers we are currently working on are the most important ones we will have turned in during our journey.
Yes, financial statements and testimonies and family history and FBI background checks and personal references are all important, but this profile will be what God uses to direct a mother to the family He has already picked out for her little one. There will be something in the pages of our profile that He uses to speak to her to let her know that we are the family who will adopt her baby. Talk about making a good first impression ... the words and pictures we choose for our profile will give her an idea of who we are. This is our chance to let her know enough about us to make a very big decision. These pages are awfully important.
We have no way of knowing right now what kind of relationship we will have with our child's birthmother. It could vary from being pretty open with her and sharing pictures frequently to having no interaction with her at all. It is possible, then, that these pages will hold all the information she will ever know about us. This may not only be a first impression but an only impression. We have carried that thought as we have worked on each page and chosen each picture. More than that, we pray that these pages will convey a message to her of love. Our love for our Heavenly Father. Our love for each other and for our children. Our love for our children we haven't met yet. Our love for her and for her forever part in our family's story. The love that our Heavenly Father has for her.
The thought that these pages need to carry all of that is overwhelming. Is little ol' worrisome me going to worry and fret over each page knowing the importance of what it is we are doing? Nope! Seriously. No worrying here. We are simply going to be honest and real in what we include in our profile. From there, we are going to cover these pages in prayer as we turn them in to our caseworker. We pray for God to use them to speak clearly to the mothers who will read them and to give them a peace and comfort as they make such a big decision using these pages as a guide.
We have prayed for a lot of different things over our adoption journey, and we have lots more requests to come, I'm sure. For now and for the next few days as we complete this profile, however, we will pray for each picture and each word. We will be praying over papers ...
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