Just had one of those moments today when you realize just how fast time flies. As we were finishing putting Christmas decorations up, our oldest put her hand up on a hand print craft that she made in preschool several years ago. I try hard not to dwell on just how much she's grown up, but that was a very real reminder of how much she has changed in what seems like such a short period of time.
In reflecting on how fast all of the girls are growing up, I found myself thinking a lot about our little boy (still the possibility it could be boys.) It is likely that he is already born, although we have no way of knowing for sure. There are little hands that we will not get to hold while they are so little. We will not have a reindeer with his little hand print as the antlers for his first Christmas. Obviously more important than that, though, is the time we will miss. There are many months of his life that we will never experience. That is how it is meant to be, though. Someone else will hold his hands for the first time. Someone else will hear his cries and catch a glimpse of his first smile.
These are days and months that we have no control over. We don't know who is providing his care. It could be a family in the midst of making the decision to relinquish him to an orphanage. It could be his nannies at one of the orphanages our agency partners with. We pray for those who will care for him until we can welcome him home. They will always be a part of his life and a part of his story. Those who hold his hands now are special people, even though we may never meet them. In a way that still baffles me at times, they are a part of our family. Because they are his family, they are our family. His tiny hands are a reflection of their hands. One day, the imprint of those little fingers will make a fine reindeer or family of snowmen for an ornament. For now, though, I long for the day when we can simply hold them, and I pray daily for those who are loving him now and caring for him. I so wish that could be me, but I have to remember that it's not yet our turn.
Oh, Julie as a mother that brings tears to my eyes. You do think of who will be holding your baby. That person will always be apart of his life. I will pray for them too. A passing of this child from them to you, for his caring and loving until it is your turn.
ReplyDeleteI echo what Angela said above...it brings tears to my eyes as a mother to not know who is holding your baby right now.. Praying for him and his caregivers with you. Can't wait to have your precious little boy(s) in my Waumba Land class all too soon! Looking forward to loving on him!
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