Balance

As much as I would love to be reporting on how far we have gotten in our Home Study process, I will instead explain that we have struggled to find some balance over these past few weeks. We have so many things going on right now. Things that are important and that will in some way affect our adoption, but things that don't have a direct impact on bringing our little one home.

Just to update on what we have happening:

We are homeschooling all 5 of the girls this year. Lots of excitement about this big step for us, which also comes with lots of researching and planning and printing and laminating and sorting and organizing. We begin school on this Monday the 9th, and I really think that things will slow down a bit and be easier once we get started. That speaks to how much I have put into the planning so that it will run smoothly once we start. That amount of planning = time not spent on adoption paperwork.

Our church is preparing to launch! We have been incredibly blessed to be a part of a church-planting process. Never imagined we'd have the opportunity to do something like this and never imagined it would have the impact on us in the way that it has. After lots of months of planning and praying, Longleaf Church will officially launch as a strategic partner of North Point Ministries on September 12! Brian serves as an elder (and awesome preschool ministry Bible storyteller!,) and I currently serve as our preschool director. While we have received abundantly more than we have given, our time given to serving = time not spent on adoption paperwork.

While this one might not seem quite as "big" as our other current adventures, it is no less important to us right now. Brian and I, along with a small group of friends, are participating in a health and fitness program. We stay connected to and are accountable to our group online and are focused on creating 8 new healthy habits. We are not on a diet ... we are creating a healthier lifestyle for ourselves and our kids. This is something we both simply know we need to do. While we already feel better after working through this program after 2 weeks, we have learned that it takes a lot to count grams of protein and fiber and fat, calories, carbs, etc. We have spent a lot more time with meal planning than we ever have before. While we know that this is exactly what we need to be doing right now, that time counting points and educating ourselves = time not spent on adoption paperwork.

Does this mean that all of these things are more important than our adoption process? Certainly not. What this does mean is that we've had to find a balance with how and where we spend our time. All of these things have been more pressing to us, but we have also found a sense of contentment with where we are on our time line for adoption. It is constantly there, but it is not pressing. I rest in knowing that God already has our child picked out for us, and He would let us know if we needed to be in a rush with our paperwork!

While this probably warrants its own post, I have to say really quick that when I said that adoption is constantly there, I mean constantly. At the risk of sounding like a cliche, I can honestly say that part of my heart is already in Africa. Not an hour goes by when I don't think about what is happening there or what it will be like to hold our little boy or how many tears I'll shed at that first glimpse of him in his referral picture. Really, not an hour. Even in the midst of all of the fun and chaos and noise and drama of what happens in our home on an hourly basis, he is already a part of it in my mind and heart. Allowing my mind to go there obviously doesn't distract from what is happening now. It hasn't even shortened the stack of paperwork that is sitting beside me. It's simply a part of what we're balancing. Living the life we have now while yearning for him to be sharing it with us. Balancing the to-do lists with the want-to-do list. Loving on these precious girls in the moment while allowing our minds to fast forward a year or so. Balancing the desire to snap our fingers and have it all done with the contentment that comes with knowing we are right on time. It is a balancing act, and it's one that we continue to be grateful to be able to experience.